Recombobluation

About a year ago I was visiting my sister in Wisconsin. Just after I walked through airport security at Milwaukee's Mitchell International Airport, I looked up and saw a a sign that read "Recombobulation Area." I had never seen this word before and frankly wondered if it was a joke. But it was no joke. It turns out that it is the only such sign of any airport in the world (I couldn't help myself; I looked it up when I got home). As I thought more about it, I realized that discombobulated was pretty much the way I felt when I walked through security. Where are my shoes? Was I wearing a belt? Where is my iPad? So, if I went through security and felt discombobulated, it only made sense that I would want to feel recombobulated when I got out. 

Urban dictionary defines recombobulation as: "To put something back the way it was, or into proper working order 2. To gather one's thoughts or composure." 

I especially liked the second definition -- To gather one's thoughts or composure. Something about that seemed familiar. Of course, isn't gathering one's thoughts what happens when we journal? 

So, consider this.... the next time you sit down and begin writing, you are not just journaling, you are actually recombobulating. 

Happy recombobulating! 

Lonely for Myself

The other night I was having trouble falling asleep; I felt restless and out of sorts. Something was nagging at me and making me feel uncomfortable. What was it? What was going on with me? Suddenly, my eyes flew open. I was feeling lonely, a very unusual feeling for me. Although I can be quite social, I am at my core, an introvert. I need my space, enjoy alone time --- enjoy my own company. So, what was this lonely feeling about? We had just seen two of our adult children and two of our grandchildren over the holidays. I had been in touch with several friends. My husband and I speak several times a day. What was I lonely for? It occurred to me I was lonely for myself. I hadn’t written in several days. I had no idea what I was thinking or feeling.

So, I did what I tell other people to do. I sat down and started to write. At first, I felt disconnected from myself, out-of-touch and uncomfortable. But after a few minutes, I felt myself relax. It didn’t matter what I wrote. It didn’t matter if I knew where the writing was going. What mattered was I was writing. It took a few days of my morning journaling practice to feel like I was returning home, coming back to myself.

It reminded me of what I have always known---no matter how far away I get from my own journaling, how far away I feel from myself, how uncomfortable I become, all I have to do is start writing. 

Sparking Joy

Perhaps when you saw the title of today's blog post you might have imagined I would be writing about the ubiquitous Marie Kondo, the guru who suggests we spark joy by clearing and organizing our stuff. Only partly right. What I am writing about is sparking joy by stringing together a series of small moments of joy for the purpose of if not happiness, at least, contentment. Here’s what I mean:

• On the side of my house I have a small container garden (cucumbers, tomatoes, zucchini, basil, parsley). Each morning I go outside and commune with my little garden, sparking if not an entire salad, a moment of pure joy.
  
  
• I read a cartoon, a cleverly written paragraph (say Anne Lamott or David Sedaris), or an absolutely laugh out loud page of dialogue in a novel, producing a moment of joy.
  
  
• I eat a cherry (or a handful of cherries), so perfectly ripe and sweet I close my eyes and have a private, ecstatic moment of joy with my fruit.
  
  
• I finally work through a huge accumulated pile of papers in my office and experience the sheer pleasure of seeing an empty space on the vintage wooden library table in the back of my office (so there, Marie Kondo).

These are difficult days; it is all too easy to become overwhelmed by the state of the world. I love this quote by Brenda Ueland: “I learned that you should feel when writing, not like Lord Byron on a mountain top, but like a child stringing beads in kindergarten—happy, absorbed and quietly putting one bead on after another.”

Take some time to find and string together your own moments of joy!

Please take very good care!

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Susan Borkin, PhD is a psychotherapist, author, and speaker. A journal writing pioneer, she has specialized in the therapeutic use of writing since 1978.

List Yourself

Do you ever have days when writing a journal entry just seems like too much work? Fortunately, there are alternative ways to write that don’t require much of a narrative. Although we usually think of using lists for things to do, grocery shopping, or packing a suitcase, there are many other ways to use lists. Consider the following prompts and examples since the start of the covid-19 quarantine:

• What have you learned about yourself? (There are parts of isolation I actually like)

• What have you noticed about your own creativity? (I seem to be feeling more creative than usual)


• What creative solutions have you tried? (Working out in my living room using soup cans for weights)


• What has made you teary or sad? (Talking on the phone to an elderly cousin when she said, “I may never see you again.”)


• What have you enjoyed listening to, watching, or streaming? (I seem to be stuck on Australian television shows)


• What has made you laugh out loud? (Same answer twice in a row---Australian television shows)


• In what ways are you thinking differently about your future? (Definitely on-line teaching, more virtual clients)

Here are some suggestions for using the above prompts:

• Responses to each of the prompts can be short or later developed into longer journal entries.


• This is a very limited list. Make up your own prompts.


• As always, there are no right or wrong ways to use these lists.

Please take very good care!

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Susan Borkin, PhD is a psychotherapist, author, and speaker. A journal writing pioneer, she has specialized in the therapeutic use of writing since 1978.

Keep Calm and Journal On

Last week when I spoke with Michelle, my virtual assistant extraordinaire, she mentioned we hadn’t published anything for four years. Four years! Yikes! Where have I been? What have I been doing? Well, let’s see. For more than two and one-half years of that period, I was finishing my dissertation. For the next 18 months, I was dealing with Post Dissertation Stress Order. Yes, this is a real thing (which I will cover in another post).

But in this new age of Coronavirus, I began to ask myself what I could do as a mental health professional. Of course, I could expand working with clients virtually. Also, since journaling and the healing power of writing have been the core of my work for decades, I could certainly offer journaling suggestions for this challenging time.

While we know that journaling cannot prevent Coronavirus, or any other illness, for that matter, there are numerous ways journaling can help reduce related stress. For instance:

• Free Form Writing – Close your eyes and sit quietly for a few moments. Begin by setting a timer for 10 minutes. Start writing whatever comes to mind. What you write does not need to make sense or be logical. Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, or syntax. Just dump out whatever comes to mind. It is definitely okay to write longer than 10 minutes.
  
  
• QuickLists – As fast as you can, start writing a list of all the things that are annoying, scary, or making you angry. Just get it all down.
  
  
• Dialogue – While you may not be able to connect with friends or family as easily as usual, you can create a dialogue anytime you wish. Start a conversation with someone you want to talk to. Imagine the response and write that down. Continue in this way as long as you like. Your dialogue will look something like a screen play.

Please take good care!

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Susan Borkin, PhD is a psychotherapist, author, and speaker. A journal writing pioneer, she has specialized in the therapeutic use of writing since 1978.

Clutter Control for Creative People

I was talking to my very creative friend Margot about a visit from my feng shui lady. 

“It was wonderful,” I explained enthusiastically, with the zeal of the newly converted. “One of the most important things we discussed was clutter.” 

I heard a soft laugh from Margot and then, “Do you know how many years we’ve been talking about our clutter?”

Here’s the problem with creative people like Margot and me -- We live in the land of possibility:

• “I can’t throw that out, I could make a (fill in the blank) out of it.”
  
  
• “But I might need that information for an article I might write some day.”
  
  
• “I would so much rather be writing, drawing, or creating something than filing papers!”
  
  
• “I’ll just finish this project and then I’ll clean up my office.”

On the other hand, when we do finally begin to deal with the clutter, there is a profound sense of accomplishment. When we let go of things we don’t need, we are freer to be present in the moment, have much more creative energy, and generally feel lighter and happier. 

Here are a few things that I found helpful:

• Think about how good it would feel to have empty space.

• Avoid piling your in-box by making it vertical; it’s easier to deal with things lined up instead of piled up.

• Do some writing in your journal about feelings that come up when you begin to de-clutter.

• Schedule time each day to deal with new mail and things that find their way into your office. Make an appointment with yourself in your calendar for de-cluttering.

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If you are feeling stuck with clutter in your life and need some help, let’s set up a time to chat. You can reach me at susan@susanborkin.com or by phone at (408) 973-7877.

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Copyright © 2016 Susan Borkin

Winter Blues

The Mindful Living Network states that Monday, January 25^th is the most depressing day of the year. While I’m not sure whether or not there is actual research to back up that statement, it is pretty clear that the month of January can be a depressing time. Let’s consider what makes this a difficult month for many people. The build-up and excitement of the holiday season is over, but credit card debt is not over. In many places in North America, the weather is at its absolute worse. Days are shorter and daylight is scarce. Psychologically, your fresh resolutions for the New Year might have taken a bit of a nosedive. 

First, it’s important to rule out the difference between winter blues and more serious depression. If you find you are feeling sad much of the time, have nothing you are looking forward, find yourself waking up in the early morning and are unable to go back to sleep, you may be suffering from depression. From time to time, everyone gets depressed. But if the symptoms I mentioned above in addition to changes in appetite, loss of interest in everyday activities, or thoughts of harming yourself are present, you might consider seeking help from a qualified mental health practitioner.  

Whether you are depressed or just having a case of the winter blues, there are a number of things you can do to help yourself feel better.  Exercise is a natural anti-depressant. So if you are able and weather permits, get outdoors and walk. Attend a group dance or exercise class. Meditate. Get some colored pencils and an adult coloring book. Of course, journaling will provide you with many options, as well. 

“Three Good Things,” an exercise taken from positive psychology and developed by Martin Seligman, suggests you write down three good things that happened to you every day. Not only does the memory of three good things lift your spirits, but thinking about or anticipating three good things re-frames how you look at your world each day. You are actually in the practice of finding good things. 

An exercise I have found helpful for myself and for clients is called an “I Don’t Want List.” I discovered this exercise for myself many years ago. I found I was really grouchy and didn’t feel like doing anything I was supposed to do. So I started writing down each of those “should.” Somehow, just stating what I didn’t want to do, turned around my negative feelings. Try it; it might surprise you.

You might also try “Giving Depression a Voice.” Sit quietly and close your eyes for a few minutes. Become aware of your breathing. When you are ready, imagine your depression has a voice. Listen to the voice of your depression and write down what you hear. 

Remember, spring always follows winter. Get some planting bulbs and plant them in a pot. Before you know it the dark days of winter will be over and your flowers will be in bloom!

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If you are feeling stuck with a writing project and need some help let’s set up a time to chat. You can reach me at susan@susanborkin.com or by phone at (408) 973-7877.

Please jump in and respond on this blog, by clicking the green 'Comments' link just below.

If you are new to blogging, here are some instructions. If you are the first leave a comment, it will say '0 Comments' - just click that link. If you do not have one of the listed accounts, please choose either Name/URL or Anonymous from the profile list before you click 'Post Comment'

Copyright © 2016 Susan Borkin

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